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To Change or Not to Change…

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Do you think it is a coincidence that myself, a self confessed food obsessive, married a chef? Nothing is coincidental with our behaviours; right from the moment we are born we are learning about cause and effect and how our actions can get us precisely what we want. You may be surprised to know that even when we think we don’t want something the complete opposite is in fact true! Hence why, at times it may feel like it is impossible to change.

The subconscious brain likes things that are predictable, things that agree with how it believes the world should work. It wants to be metaphorically cuddled, wrapped up in a blankey and rocked soothingly. Anything that should come along to jeopardise this perfect little lullaby will result in a battle of the brains on par with that of Trafalgar. Now it is vitally important that you realise what we deem to be safe, comfortable and positive is not the same safe, comfortable and positive that the subconscious part of the brain adheres to. On the contrary; safe and familiar to this part of the brain can equally be destructive, draining and damaging. It is precisely this craving of familiarity as to why so many of us find it hard to change our habits, behaviours and lifestyles.

I frequently relate this to clients in terms of door handles: You walk up to a door and know to pull the handle down or turn the knob outwards and push. Should the handle be on upside down, the knob turns inwards and the door in fact requires a pull motion – then we experience an out of body jolt as we get taken aback by the interruption in the predictability as to how we know and believe most doors to operate. My children once got greeted with an intercom instead of the conventional door and the shock and confusion as to how they would enter through the door was hilarious. Myself, however had seen one before so had this information logged on my internal script so we could all proceed to move through the door together.

I refer to scripts as our own internal manual as to how we believe the world to work. We formulate internal scripts about everything from door handles to kitchen sinks and of course relationships. These develop in early childhood and do not get upgraded unless you make a conscious effort to first of all read yours and then choose to rewrite it – normally with the support and guidance of others acting with integrity. This is why people who think they want to quit smoking, lose weight, overcome fears or change other aspects of their life will quickly retreat after dipping their toes in and experiencing the ripples it creates.

If you were to work in the theatre; then you and all the cast members will have your own scripts and only when you all stay true to your scripts can the intended play be performed. When one person decides that they want to change an aspect, no matter how small and stray from the original script this ripples out to the rest of the cast and forces them to read their own script. A script that they believe to be working well, a script that they have already rehearsed, know thoroughly and are more than happy with. What frequently happens is just as the person starts seeking change they quickly pick up on the unsettlement it causes to their fellow cast and will withdraw and return to partake in the original play. Or just maybe the rest of the cast can embrace this adaption and you work together to create a new play. Alternatively, tensions will arise and a battle commences until someone’s script is squashed: inevitably if the person seeking change is empowered and ready to rewrite their own script, then this is the time that they will simply step away from the old play, switch productions and decide to join a new cast whilst the original play keeps running and just recasts for that part – after all the show must go on!

Changing an aspect of your life does not affect just one area of your life but will change your view of the world, alter your relationships with friends and family and shake the very ground on which you find yourself standing. The moment you go off your script you are going to force others to look at theirs, in that moment the basis of everything your relationship is built upon – the reason why you interact in the first place, the safety and predictability is going to topple like a game of jenga! So do you still want to remove the piece?

With hypnotherapy it is possible to rewrite your script, enable you to change habits, behaviours and lifestyles. By not only reprogramming the sub conscious but by also empowering the conscious part of your mind. Yes, you really can quit smoking, lose weight, change jobs or leave your partner. These techniques will give you the resources to be flexible, provide you with more opportunities and increase your overall level of happiness.

Anything really is possible – if you want it?


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